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How to Love Yourself in 7 Simple Steps
Introduction
In this powerful book, you will learn seven important steps to help you heal emotionally so you can learn to love yourself again. But before we even get into the steps, you’ll need to prepare your heart to receive them, so that’s exactly what we’re going to do in the first part of this book. I have prepared each step based on many years of research, which included professional training in the study of human behavior.
We’re going to keep things friendly and simple, so relax and take a deep breath. The first thing I want you to know is that you are part of me because we’ve both gone through many trials and tribulations. I feel your pain. I know what it means to feel rejected and unwanted. But there’s a great love prepared for you. This love is beyond human imagination because it gives it all for you. And this love is found in your heart and no one can take it away from you… No one!
In my research, I learned that people are affected by low self-esteem in different ways. The symptoms could vary. While some of us may be affected by depression, others could develop a hostile attitude. But the solution is always the same: To destroy the root of rejection.
In this book, we will learn to overcome low self-esteem by understanding what’s causing your affliction so you can fight back and allow your heart to heal regardless of what your symptoms are. The following are some of the main symptoms developed by a person suffering from low self-esteem:
· Sensitivity to criticism
· Social withdrawal
· Hostility
· Excessive preoccupation with personal problems
· Physical symptoms such as fatigue, insomnia and headaches
Your low self-esteem is the result of your rejected heart. This rejection has led you to develop a self-defense mechanism and fed your ego. Today you protect yourself by not letting anybody hurt you again, but that’s a double-edged sword. With this attitude, you’re only hurting yourself more because if you push people away, how are you going to learn to love them? And if you can’t love others, how in the world are you ever going to learn to love yourself? This is why it’s extremely important that you first kill the ego inside your heart so you can move on, but we’ll talk about that later.
If you are reading this book, you’re probably going through some difficult moments right now. Perhaps you’re even feeling depressed and have no hopes for the future, but I have news for you. You’re not alone. Just take a look around you. What do you see?
There are millions of people just like you, trying to make sense out of a senseless existence. This is why many turn to drugs and alcohol. In extreme cases, some decide to end it all, but this is not even an option for most of us because we understand that we must continue.
Have you ever asked yourself why you feel this way, though? This negative feeling didn't just come out of nowhere, did it? Something must've happened to you back in your past. Did you know that all your emotional and spiritual problems are rooted there? Somehow, you lost track and stopped believing in life.
You’ve probably tried to find quick solutions, but nothing seems to work, and nothing is working because you’re doing it wrong. In this book, I will reveal a lot of hidden secrets. The first one is straight and simple: Nothing will change in your life unless you change your mindset.
Pay close attention because this is extremely important. Your mind has been programmed to believe a great deception. Now you have to reverse this deception and start believing the truth.
Your heart is broken, but today all that’s going to change. You’re going to revolutionize your entire way of thinking by decoding the deception rooted in your heart. Once you understand what’s going on in your subconscious mind, you will be set free.
Everything is happening there, on the battlefield of your mind. Everything is wrong, so you have to shake the entire foundation of your understanding; you have to start a revolution in your heart. This revolution begins right now, with your willingness to change, so you’ve come to the right place.
Today your sadness is a clear indicator that something went wrong along the way. There are only two ways your heart could've gotten hurt: You were either hurt by a loved one or by the circumstances, so this is what we will discuss in the first part of this book.
We're also going to talk about why and how these things happened to you, this way, you'll understand the root of your sadness. This is extremely important because if you don't understand the root of the problem, how are you going to solve it? But that's okay, this is why we'll talk about it today.
Once you understand the root of the problem, I’m going to guide you through the process of preparing your heart so you can receive the word of knowledge and wisdom, which will bring healing to your life. This knowledge is the seed that will be planted in your heart through 7 simple steps that will open your eyes to a new understanding.
Everything you will read in this book has changed my own life and the life of those who have followed these simple steps, but it won't work unless you open your heart and soul. Some people just won't listen because they want to feel miserable. It's almost as if they enjoy it, but we’ll talk about that later.
I pray that this is not your mentality, but if you're a negative person, I have an advice for you: Stop! I'm going to be straightforward with you. If you're not willing to change, nobody's going to be able to help you.
Of course, I want you to read my book, but my purpose today is to get results, so if you don't feel ready yet, I would advise you to do some soul-searching first and then read my message. I'm not here to take advantage of your situation; I'm here to help you find a solution to your problem and let me tell you why: I have understood that life is not about making money and getting rich. That would never satisfy my soul.
Life is about finding meaning, and the only way to find meaning is by giving to others what was given to us, but sometimes we simply don’t understand this divine law. This is one of the reasons why people are so unhappy.
They only think about themselves, but they ignore the fact that selfishness is the soul's worst enemy. God created us so we could reproduce and give life to others. We are here to die so others can live. If you don't understand this concept, you will never be able to find happiness.
Part of your healing process is to give back to the world. This is key to spiritual freedom, and I have understood that. This is why I do what I do. My message is not for my own benefit. My message is for you today, so I’ve given 100% of my effort in this book.
Knowing you will find freedom through my words is my crown. I have to give what I have received, otherwise, I might as well be dead. This is what brings healing to my heart because one day I couldn't find anybody to help me when I needed it the most.
Today I have the chance to reverse that. I wouldn't feel human if I kept the knowledge I've gained to myself. Today, you will learn to do the same, and by doing so, you will revolutionize your heart and find freedom for your soul.
But before we even begin, I want you to know I'm a Christian, so some of the solutions I will present in this book are based on spiritual principles. It’s your spirit what needs healing, so that's what we need to focus on, but don't worry; I'm not here to sell you a religion.
I'm here to show you the correct path through spiritual wisdom, so if you're not a Christian, I'm going to ask you to open your heart, keeping in mind that my only purpose today is to help you out.
What I'm going to teach you today are probably things you've never heard of before. There are many mysteries in life we don't understand, and we depend on many of these things, so it’s in our best interest to learn about them, but we’ll talk about that later.
By the end of this book, you're going to learn to stay focused. You will also be able to accept yourself for who you are and understand that there's something greater for you out there.
This new understanding will bring freedom and healing to your heart, and you will be able to see that the solution to your emotional problem is rather simple.
If you follow the principles I’m going to share with you today, your heart will begin to heal because you will no longer live in the past. This is a short book, so I'm going to waste no time.
I'm going to get straight to the point so you can get the most out of it. I want you to stay focused and pay attention because what you're about to read has the potential to change your life, but only if you’re willing to do something about it. If you don’t open your heart, nothing will happen because changes can only come with an open mind.
PART ONE:
PREPARING YOUR HEART
The Root of Your Wound
Life is the greatest gift that God has given you, unfortunately, it doesn’t come with instructions. Nobody tells you how to live it, so you end up following life wherever it leads you to. No one shows you how to be happy and to experience the joy of being alive, so you never learn to live the life God intended for you.
You come to this world to belong to a group of people, but sometimes they're not the best choice. Unfortunately, it's the only choice you have. These people are the ones you call "loved ones." They’re supposed to be there to protect you; to embrace you; to show you love and to show you the way.
They are not supposed to hurt you, but sometimes life is not what it seems. You began this life crying, and those who were supposed to ease your cry turned their backs away from you. You were just an innocent child. Your heart was pure and perfect.
Everywhere you turned, life was full of surprises. You lived in a world made for you; a perfect world; a dream world. No one told you that one day you would grow to become a man or woman, so you continued living in a place of wonders, but one day something went terribly wrong.
As your mind developed, those who were supposed to protect you, stabbed you in the back. They made you feel insignificant and worthless; a good for nothing! But somehow you’ve survived.
What was supposed to be your wonder years, became your greatest nightmare. But that wasn’t the end; it was just the beginning. The years went by, and your life became a disaster. Your heart grew bitter and full of resentment.
Today you look in the mirror, and you don't like what you see. You don't feel human; you don't feel loved. Your identity has been stolen from you. You wish you were someone else because what you see each morning is the person you were brought up to hate.
When I was a teenager, I suffered a lot of bullying because I was a fat kid. On top of that, when I turned 17, my face got destroyed by acne. I’m sure that many of you who are reading this book have gone through something similar.
That’s how it is. Sometimes, what’s supposed to be our best years, turn into a living hell because of the way we look. Our appearance is something that can bring us down, especially when people expect us to look good.
According to the University of Washington Teen Health and the Media web page, about 53% of girls surveyed were not happy with their physical appearance; a number that goes up to more than 78% by the age of 17.
In her book, I’m, Like, SO Fat!, Dianne Neumark reports that 50% of teen girls and 30% of teen boys practice unhealthy behaviors in an effort to lose weight, including skipping meals, vomiting, smoking cigarettes, fasting and using laxatives.
Body image is an enormous factor for young people’s self-esteem; especially that of young women, but let me tell you something extremely important, so pay close attention to this: The problem is not your appearance; the problem is your mindset. You feel ugly and disgusting because you think you are.
But this is all a deception in your mind; a deception you have chosen to believe. Your ordeal began way back when your subconscious mind was still developing. This is when all emotional and spiritual problems usually begin.
I know that well. In my early years, I suffered the most horrendous things a child could ever experience. As a result, I developed post-traumatic stress and low self-esteem. I couldn’t face the world. I couldn’t even bring myself to look at people straight in the eyes.
My self-esteem was so low that on my first date, which was at the age of 17, I couldn’t even face my date, so I sat next to her at the restaurant. You can imagine how that went. When I was in my teens, I mumbled when I talked because I thought that people were always staring at me.
Believe it or not, I only had one friend. I have no idea why he stayed with me for many years, but when I moved out of New York I lost contact with him. I couldn’t hold any friends because I always thought I wasn’t fun to be around with.
Every time I looked in the mirror, it was a struggle. I thought I was ugly and disgusting. I wanted to be someone else, so one day I dyed my hair blond. That was back in the 80s, and kids my age were pretty weird, so I didn’t feel so out of line with my new-look.
Of course, I looked stupid, so eventually I went back to being myself. My insecurity was the result of all the mental abused I went through as a child. I’ll talk more about myself as we go along, but for now let’s move on.
It’s in our childhood where many of our emotional issues begin. This is common psychology, so you should already know that by now, but I’m bringing it up because sometimes we tend to forget.
When we are in the developmental process, we are extremely vulnerable. This is why most crimes are committed by younger people. The first 20 to 25 years of our lives are filled with so much garbage. In those early years, we absorb so many negative influences from the people close to us and from our society.
According to some studies done in the 90s, if a person doesn't pick up a bad habit by the age of 21, chances are they never will. This indicates that our "wonder years" are actually our decisive years. If this is the case, we are doing nothing trying to solve our problems thinking in the present.
So you can understand me better, let me give you a quick example: Mary Morgan (Not her real name) is in her late 20s. She already has 2 kids with two different men and now she is in another relationship, being cautious not to get pregnant again. She's been jumping from one man to the next because she suffers from low self-esteem and cannot hold a relationship.
Her dream was to become a doctor, but she barely finished High school. At least she works in a nursing home, trying to make ends meet. In a desperate attempt to fill the empty space in her heart, she always gets stuck with the wrong man because she fears being lonely.
In the process, she works her way around each relationship, trying to change each person in her life. She looks for quick solutions, such as, taking the family on short trips, buying new clothes to feel better about herself, doing outdoor activities to keep the family together, etc. But nothing works because the root of her problem is an abusive father who left her wounded since her childhood.
Now, don't get me wrong, her efforts help a bit, and many psychologists would recommend such activities, but that's like patching the hole instead of getting rid of it. Those are quick solutions that will get you nowhere because they only target the present but don’t get to the bottom of the problem.
Mary is just an example, but just like her, you might be trying to find quick solutions to your problem today, but it doesn't work that way, does it? You will never see any results if you're not attacking what’s causing your pain.
A few months ago, my neighbor cut a tree, but he didn't cut it from its root. He spent all afternoon cutting the branches, but all that work was for nothing. Today the tree is growing back. This is exactly what happens to us.
We cut the branches, but we leave the root intact. Then we wonder why we're still suffering. This is bad news for our healing process. At least, in many cases, some people try to patch the problem, but others decide to do nothing at all. They just ride the wave wherever it leads them to.
It’s sad to see how people destroy themselves by simply doing nothing. Sometimes we are like an ostrich. You know what it does? It sees a lion coming, so it digs a hole in the ground to hide its big head. Since it doesn't see the lion anymore, it thinks it's gone… Bad move!
I don't need to tell you what happens to the poor ostrich because it gets pretty ugly. That’s how we are. We hide from the problem thinking it will go away on its own, so we do nothing. Well, let me ask you something: If you do nothing at all or keep doing the same things over and over again, what do you think is going to happen?
That's right! Things are going to get worse! At best, they will remain the same. You would be like a sailboat without a sailor, which means that you will get nowhere in life. Your problems will remain the same.
I'm telling you this because I see it all the time, and it makes me sad when I see someone destroy themselves because they simply don't know what to do. That's why I'm writing this book. If I could change one person's life, my job will be done, and I will feel satisfied because that’s my motivation.
What keeps me going is not the wealth of this world; what keeps me going is the notion that I helped to ease the pain in someone’s heart. I know it hurts; I know that the pain inside can sometimes get intense, and that’s why I want you to be free today. You might not understand this now, but you’ll understand it by the end of this book.
Besides having experienced the pain myself, I spent a little over 10 years of my life studying human behavior when I worked in marketing. During that time, through a lot of professional training, I learned that people are irrational.
In most cases, pain is what motivates us to buy things so we can fill the empty space inside. This pain has turned our world into a materialistic world. The sad part is that all the things we obtain with money will never take away the pain.
Perhaps those things boost our self-esteem for a few days, but once the excitement is gone, the pain comes right back, so we need to buy more things to make us feel good again. If you don't believe me, go check your basement or garage and don't tell me you need all the "stuff" you have stored there. Well, guess what? This is why garage sales are so popular, aren't they?
The reason why you have all those things stored in your basement is that companies have discovered the pain in your heart, and they have taken advantage of that. Trying to ease the pain with material things is not the healthiest thing to do because, in the end, this behavior will leave you feeling worse.
I learned all these things, not only as a professional marketer, but also as a person who has experienced rejection first-hand. I’ll talk about that in a minute, but now let’s talk about the two main reasons why your heart is wounded today: You can only be hurt by a loved one or by the society around you.
Let's see the first reason. I’ve already talked about this a bit, but let’s drill down some more: Usually, you get hurt by someone you love. The close relationship is like a double-edged sword. The frustration in your heart begins the day you are rejected because your self-esteem is destroyed. This frustration grows due to the love-hate relationship. You need love, but you can’t have it, so you end up feeling alone in the world.
According to an article published on CBS NEWS, the studies published in the June 18 issue of the Archives of Internal Medicine, found that living alone or feeling alone can be especially debilitating to aging adults and may lead to serious health problems, even death.
They found that people who identified themselves as lonely were 59 percent more likely to experience a functional decline in daily activities compared with their counterparts.
What's more, lonely people were 45 percent more likely to die over the six-year study compared to those who didn't identify themselves as lonely. In other studies, they found that those who spent their final years surrounded by loved ones tended to last longer.
This clearly indicates that love plays a major role in our emotional and physical stability from the day we are born till the day we die. Now, so you can understand how important this is, let me tell you something amazing: If the lack of love kills your body, imagine what it could do to your soul. Perhaps this is why you feel as if you are dead inside. But the million dollar question is, why? Why is love vital to our physical and emotional survival?
This is a great mystery that most of us don't seem to understand. The thing is that we have it all wrong. When we think about love, immediately we think about pleasure and self-gratification, but that's how the world understands it.
We love because love makes us feel good, and this is due to our selfish nature. As long as you bring something good to their lives, people will "love" you. Once the good things are gone, the "love" disappears with it.
It happens all the time. People fall in love and get married. They start a new life and for the first few years everything goes smoothly. They feel passion and excitement, but the question is, is that love? If it was, why then more than 50% of all marriages end up in divorce within the first few years? So if this isn't love, then the question remains: What is love? Have you ever thought about that?
I don't know about you, but I often wonder about these things. Understanding love is what helped me heal my own heart. Love is the medicine that cures a broken heart. The reason why you feel hurt today is that the people who were supposed to show you love didn't show you any. Today your heart is wounded and desperate for some love.
But real love is not about you; it's not about what you're going to receive. Real love is about what you’re going to give. This means that when you give something to somebody, you take it away from you, and you give it because you feel empathy; you feel the need the other person feels, and there’s a reason for that: You and the one you love are one and the same.
This is a great mystery, but in order to understand it, we need to understand the mind of the Creator. Let's read the following Bible verses:
And God said, “Let Us make man in our image, after our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.” So God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them.
(Genesis 1:26-27)
As we can see, God created man in His own image. But not only did He create man in His own image, He also created everything according to His own nature. Just take a look around you, everything you see is related. Everything works together as if it was one single body. Just think about that for a moment.
From things as small as atoms to things as big as galaxies, everything works in unity. This is the nature of the Creator, and this is how He created everything. Now, if you think about it, the physical world is just a reflection of the spirit world. Isn't that amazing?
The only way you’re going to function correctly is by experiencing that unity in your life. Think about this for a moment: imagine that you live on a remote island all by yourself, and as the years passed by you, what do you think would happen to your spirit? I don't know about you, but I think that if you had no contact with other human beings, your spirit would die eventually.
This is because we were created to experience one another. Without human contact, we wouldn't be able to experience love, and guess what? That love is the food of your spirit. There is no way your spiritual and mental integrity would be able to survive without experiencing love.
How can you be happy if you have no one to talk to? How can your spirit be free if you have no one to show love and affection to? Being completely alone in the world is probably the worst punishment that a person could ever experience.
But what does it mean to be alone in the world? You could be surrounded by people all day, yet, you could be the loneliest person in the world. If you think about it, loneliness is not a physical condition; it's a state of mind.
Many years ago, I had a childhood friend; her name was Lydia. She was my next door neighbor and oftentimes she came to the house to play with me and my brothers. Lydia was a shy girl. She must've been about 13 or 14 years old at the time. One Summer Night, back in 1978, as we all got ready to go to bed, we heard a few gunshots. Within seconds, we heard a woman screaming.
It was Lydia's mother screaming for help. My parents went to see what was going on, but they didn't let me or my brother's go with them. When they came back, they had terrible news. Lydia had shot herself in the stomach, but she was still alive, so they rushed her to the hospital. Unfortunately, she didn't make it through the night. She committed suicide.
She left a note saying that she took her own life because her father raped her almost every day. I could only imagine the trauma she went through. Even though she had her family and close friends, she felt completely alone in this world. She was basically used and rejected by her own father. Unfortunately, she wasn't strong enough to deal with it, so she chose to end it all.
Now the question is, what does all this have to do with your situation? The answer is simple: Many years ago, when your personality was still developing, somebody put you away on a remote island (Spiritually speaking). They took away your right to love and feel human.
They made you feel worthless. You were basically a castaway, swimming in an ocean full of hatred. At a crucial moment in life, when you needed to feel loved, they showed you rejection. When you needed to feel approved, you were disapproved. You didn’t expect the rejection because, in reality, you were not supposed to be rejected. This was just the beginning of all your problems.
You were basically separated from that unity you were born to experience. You were supposed to be part of something, but you weren’t. To put it in plain English, and so you can understand me better, you were cheated out of life.
That sounds cruel, doesn't it? Well, you know what? It is! That’s why you feel what you feel today. The separation you endured back in your past is the root of your problem. It's a cut, and like any other cut, it hurts; no doubt about that. The question now is, what are you going to do about it?
We'll talk about that in a minute, but first let's talk about the second reason why you feel hurt today: Social rejection. You probably had loving parents and people who cared for you when you were a child, but as you grew older, you bumped into a big mountain out there. It's called, “social pressure.”
This is big, and this is one of the main reasons why people are wounded today. In most cases, though, we experience rejection at home and rejection from our society. No wonder many turn to drugs and alcohol at an early age. Sometimes we go from the frying pan to the fire, don’t we?
We live in a society run by greed. As our identity develops, we are constantly bombarded by the idea that we have to be perfect. Companies take advantage of the situation and somehow they make you feel worthless so you can buy their products. Of course, that's not how you perceive it because they do it in a sneaky way. They compare you to beautiful people to make you feel ugly and disgusting. They make you feel worthless.
How do I know that? Well, I worked in marketing for more than 10 years. Now that I look back, I can see how cruel the marketing system is. You buy things, not because you need them, but because you want to fill the empty space in your heart.
You think that through these things you will feel better, but that's a false perception. These things make you feel good for a moment, but the fact of the matter is that once the emotion disappears you feel bad again.
This is like a cycle that never ends, and it never will until you permanently get rid of the emptiness in your heart. I think you already understand that, but unfortunately, it seems that you are addicted to this cycle even knowing you do wrong. If you don't believe me, go take a look at all the things you have lying around the house and ask yourself the following question: Do I really need all these things?
You bought all those things because society told you that you needed them in order to feel better, but let me tell you something: You fell into the trap of a cheap marketing technique. But this has its origins elsewhere. The emptiness of your heart was formed long ago.
Do you remember those days at school? It was there that many children your age didn't accept you because of your appearance. Perhaps they didn't accept you for the way you talked or the way you dressed. The fact of the matter is that, somehow, they made you feel bad, and that began to kill you inside.
School is one of the cruelest places to start life. It seems that we are born with an evil nature. At an early age, we learn to fight and step on others. We don't care about the damage we do. The only thing we care about is feeling good, and unfortunately, for many of us, feeling good means destroying someone else.
Maybe that's what happened to you. And to make things worse, you tried to find acceptance at home, but instead of finding that, you found more rejection. You were basically discriminated, and that hurts a lot, doesn’t it?
I've been down that road before; in fact, I've been down that road many times. Everything that I'm telling you comes out of many years of suffering and feeling hurt inside. I destroyed my life with my actions, and everything began in my early years.
Many of you know my story, but for those of you who don't know me, let me tell you that I was a war child. My eyes have seen the most horrendous things you can imagine. You have no idea how evil people can get.
The things I saw are unspeakable. Things I cannot even mention because they are so evil, and that's the type of world I came out of. On top of all that, when I immigrated to the States, I was rejected by an entire society because of my looks.
In other words, I suffered discrimination at a crucial moment of my life. I came out of a cruel war, and all I wanted was love and understanding, but instead, I found hatred and rejection.
Suddenly, I found myself completely alone in the world, thousands of miles away from the people I love, and what did I do? I turned to drugs and alcohol. I wanted to ease the pain, but I only made things worse.
For many years, I did nothing about it. The pain inside my heart increased to the point that I couldn't even hold a relationship. I became a Christian and accepted the Lord, and for a few years I found peace and hope in this world, but soon the pain came back because I didn't kill the root of my problem; I didn't let God work on my life and free me from my past.
We'll talk more about that later, but for now, let's take it a step at a time. All I want you to do now is to identify the cause of your problem. You have to include everybody who hurt you in the past. They are the root of your wound, but later on we will deal with them.
In the following pages, we will talk about how to prepare the ground in your heart so you can receive healing. The only thing that I'm going to ask you is to keep an open mind so you can receive in your heart what I will teach you today.
Perhaps you’ve been fighting against the wind, but today your life will change because everything begins with the disposition of your heart, and if you're reading this book, it means your heart is ready to receive the message.
Preparing the Ground
We have just seen the two main reasons why your heart is hurting today, but knowing that is not going to help you if you don't act and take control of your life. Now, let's talk about something extremely important; perhaps this is the most important part of this book.
When you plant a tree, the first thing you have to do is prepare the soil, isn't that right? If you sow a seed without first preparing the soil, the tree won't grow properly because it wouldn't be planted in fertile ground. I could teach you many things, but if your heart is not strong enough, it wouldn't matter what I tell you.
It's necessary that you understand this, otherwise, you would be just wasting your time, and I think your time is valuable. If you took the trouble to read this book, it's because you really want to change, but maybe you don't know how to do that. But don't feel so alone. The truth is that most of us don't know what to do when we experience rejection from the people we love.
When my heart was depressed, I smoked 40 cigarettes a day and drank a bottle of vodka every night. Of course, I was killing myself, but I didn't care. I always thought I would die young anyway. I didn't care about hurting my family, much less about hurting myself.
Every time I smoked, I did it with an intense pain in my heart. Cigarettes eased my sorrows, but they didn't end my pain. In fact, the negative feeling I felt inside got more intense. One day, I realized that alcohol and cigarettes didn't help me anymore. But I kept insisting because I couldn't find another way out. I didn't understand there was another solution.
In 1987, at the age of 17, I met a girl who I befriended. I won't mention her name, but she worked with me at a local coffee shop in New York. One day, she invited me to her apartment. I didn't know she was a drug user. That night, she introduced me to crack and cocaine.
I had never tried any of that stuff, but it was something fantastic (So I thought at the time). It was as if someone had transported me to a higher place. For a moment I lost my head, and that was something I was longing for.
I didn't want to live anymore, but I didn't want to die either. I had finally found something that made me feel dead but alive at the same time. Obviously, I was wrong, but I was still young and stupid. At that age, nothing matters. All we care about is feeling good. I don't know if you've ever done drugs, but if you have, you know what I'm talking about.
It's such a spectacular feeling, although, it's something so evil that it could even take you to the grave. But when you're doing it, all that matters is forgetting about life for a moment. The euphoria I felt made me vibrate; it made me feel a lot of pleasure. I think my hands shook every time I did it. I don't remember, but I did feel my body vibrating.
From that day on, I was hooked. I continued doing drugs, but this feeling was only a deception. The Euphoria lasted for about 15 or 20 minutes. After having this amazing feeling, I ended up feeling worse than before, but that didn't end there. The depression I felt was multiplied 100 times. My pain was so intense that I had to keep doing drugs until dawn sometimes.
There were times when I spent two days in a row smoking crack, but the day came when my heart couldn't take it anymore. That night, after having done drugs the entire day, my heart started to beat rapidly, and I got scared.
Immediately, I went back to my apartment and lay down on the bed. My heart was coming out of my chest, but I was ashamed to call 911 because I knew what I had done. I thought I was going to die, away from my family.
At that moment, I began to think and meditate. I knew I had reached the lowest point of my life, but still, I didn't know what to do. Meanwhile, my heart pounded so hard that it wouldn't let me sleep. Every time I fell asleep, my heart jumped as if I was having a severe panic attack.
It was midnight, and I began to pray and ask God to forgive me. I didn't think I would survive the night. All I thought about was my family. I knew that if I died, it was going to be difficult for them. My mother knew nothing about my situation.
She thought I was a good kid and that I spent my days working. She was not aware that I was doing so much damage to myself. I don't know if you can imagine the fear when you think you're dying, but it's horrible. Not having anyone around who could help made things worse.
Today I'm not afraid of dying, but back then I was. I thought about calling some coworkers, but I knew they couldn't do anything for me. All they could do was call 911, but that was the last thing I wanted. I thought that if I survived, I could go to jail for drug possession.
Basically, I was against the wall. My chest oppressed me and it got difficult to breathe. I thought I wasn't going to make it, so I prayed with all my heart. As morning approached, I began to feel better, and I asked God for forgiveness again. This was like a wake-up call for me. I had survived the night, but I was a changed man.
I managed to fall asleep for a couple of hours in the morning and when I woke up, I realized how valuable life was, but there was still something that bothered me, though. There was a question in my mind I couldn't answer: "Why do I do these things?" I asked myself that question, and although I tried to find an answer, I didn't find one.
A few days after that incident, I began to go to church. Ever since, my life has changed, but I continued wondering why I did the things I did. I couldn't understand why I hurt myself, but one thing was certain: There was a root of bitterness in my heart.
But even after accepting Christ, I continued behaving badly. I had changed a little, but my heart was still far from the truth. I was depressed and didn't know why. I realized I was not the only one, though. Many Christians who attended church lived a double life.
I befriended many of them, and I realized there was a lot of pain inside the church. I thought it was normal, but eventually, I understood that something was wrong. The years passed, and although I didn't continue doing drugs, I smoked between 30 and 40 cigarettes every day.
It was something that made me feel good. Well, that's what I thought at the time. What I didn't understand was that no matter how many cigarettes I smoked, I didn't get rid of my pain.
Over time, I realized that my problem was rooted in the unforgiveness of my heart. In my case, my family was always there for me. I had a good childhood because my mother always showed me love. My problem began at the age of 9; when the war broke out in my country (El Salvador).
Before the war, I had everything a child could ask for. My parents owned a well-established business and gave me a good education. I basically had all the things I wanted.
My future was supposed to be good, and all the plans my parents had for me and my brothers were promising. But none of that came to pass. 1979 came around. I experienced the most horrendous things a child can experience.
Almost every day, as I walked to school, I saw bodies lying on the streets. This became part of my daily life. I saw it all: Tortured bodies; bodies without hands or eyes, sometimes, completely burned. The stench was horrible.
My wonder years ended abruptly. I didn't even have the right to go out and play with my friends. After suffering 5 years of madness, my parents decided that it was enough. With great effort, we left everything behind and immigrated to the United States.
Unfortunately, I left a cruel world for another cruel world. Now everything was different. There was no more death around me, but my soul was now punished by discrimination. I was not a blond kid with blue eyes; I didn't speak English, but in a couple of years I learned. At least I had something good going for me.
That didn't help me much, though. Maybe it helped me to communicate and get around, but people looked at me as if I was something strange. Since the age of 14, I had to work like a grown man, but that was not the problem; the problem was that I felt like I didn't belong.
It was frustrating. I couldn't go back to my country because that meant certain death, but I couldn't stay either. I was an illegal alien. My parents were deported in 1987, but I escaped because I had to preserve the family name. If something happened to my entire family, at least I would survive and go on. It was a cruel decision, but it was the only choice I had. I found myself completely alone in a strange country; with strange people.
One day, I realized the root of my problem was that I couldn't forgive the people who hurt me. They had stolen my identity and my dignity. They stole my family and my teenage years. I didn't have the future that was destined for me, but over the years, I understood a great mystery: Bad things happen for a reason.
All the negative things that happened to me made me grow in wisdom. What I thought was bad for me, was actually something good. One day, I began to meditate on all these things and realized that if I had all the good things that were destined for me, today, I wouldn't be the man that I am.
If God gave me the opportunity to turn back time, I wouldn't change a thing because I understand that the truth came into my heart through my experiences. And it's by this truth that I live today.
It's that truth what keeps me alive, and if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't be a happy man today. My life began to change and now I could see the negative things in a positive way.
Now my life was taking a new turn, but everything started to change when I decided to forgive all those people who did so much damage to my heart, and this is the message I want to bring to you today.
It’s not until you learn to forgive that your life will begin to change. When you forgive the people who did you wrong, you prepare the ground to receive a new life. Forgiveness is the starting point and nothing is going to happen until you forgive and prepare the ground in your heart to receive the much-needed changes in your life.
I understand it's not easy, especially when your heart has been hurt so badly, and that's why some people don’t find a way out. It’s easier for them to remain full of hatred inside. I know people who prefer to die before forgiving those who hurt them, and that's not a good thing. There are people who even on their deathbed fail to forgive their loved ones.
But there's a great mystery found in forgiveness, and that's what I want to teach you today. When you don’t forgive, a separation occurs between you and the person who hurt you. Perhaps you think that's good, of course, but let me tell you something, and pay close attention because this could change your life: That separation is what's causing the pain in your heart today.
I've talked about this before, but I want to remind you. We were created to live in unity and harmony because that's the nature of our Creator, and if you reject that harmony, you will be outside of God's will and plans for you. That's why when you don’t forgive, you feel hurt and rejected.
The people who hurt you are part of you, whether you like it or not. More likely than not, it was a loved one who destroyed your life, but remember that they carry your own blood and DNA.
Even if you don’t like it, you are part of that family group, and losing that love you once felt for them is what hurts you the most. Unfortunately, that love has now turned into resentment.
Perhaps it was your husband or wife who hurt you. In this case, there are no blood ties in between, but you were joined to them in spirit, which is practically the same thing. Maybe they didn’t know how to love, and today you cry because you feel rejected, but it's not your fault.
No matter what your situation may be today, if you don’t forgive the people who hurt you one day, you won’t get far. You would be planting a tree on dead soil because your heart would be bitter inside. How can you find light in this world if your heart is full of darkness? It's just impossible, don't you think?
Then, it's no use trying to heal your wound because there’s no strong foundation underneath your intentions, even if your intentions are good. Obviously, it’s not easy to forgive when they have done so much damage to your heart, but let me ask you a question: What other choice do you have? But don't worry; there's a way out for you. It’s through divine understanding and wisdom that you will finally learn to forgive.
If you're not a Christian, I want to remind you that I'm not here to sell you a religion, however, the only way out is through divine intervention, and divine intervention can only come from God Himself. You can find other solutions, but they are only temporary.
As we move along, we're going to talk about your spirituality. For now, just keep an open mind. I'm here to help you and show you the way to freedom, but in the end, it's your decision. You do whatever you have to do, but if you're not willing to experience new things, how are you going to find out if they're good for you or not?
Now, let me tell you something based on my own experience of dealing with unforgiveness: All those negative things that happened to you in the past were things that destroyed your life, no doubt about that; however, if you look back, you will find that whatever it was that they took away from you was not meant for you anyway. And it wasn’t meant for you because it really didn’t suit you.
Perhaps now you are experiencing the pain of rejection, but let me tell you something: As the years pass, and you grow in wisdom, you learn to leave behind all the things that don't suit you, and that includes the pain you feel today. Once the pain fades away, your mind clears, and you open your eyes. Then you are able to see things the way they actually are.
Remember that rejection creates resentment, and resentment is a strong feeling, as strong as the feeling of falling in love. When you fall in love, you lose your head, don’t you? And if you lose your head, it’s because that strong feeling in your heart blinds you. So this means you cannot see clearly.
That's why many of those who get married without giving themselves enough time end up having an unhappy and unstable marriage. And this happens because they get married without thinking. They are blinded; they are in love, so they make a big mistake.
The same thing happens when you have resentment in your heart. The pain you feel inside doesn’t let you see clearly, and therefore, you make many mistakes, and one of the biggest mistakes you make is not being able to forgive.
So, the key to forgiveness lies in killing the resentment you feel today, but the million dollar question is, how in the world are you going to do that? Well, I'll give you a simple answer: The solution is to kill your ego. It is your own ego what's destroying you today, and you know it. It is your ego what doesn’t let you forgive, and if you can’t forgive, how are you going to heal your wound?
So now the question is, how to get rid of your ego? Because if you succeed in getting rid of it, then you will be able to forgive, and if you are able to forgive, then the soil in your heart will be ready to receive the seed, which will bring new meaning to your life.
Don't waste your time trying to forgive if your ego is still alive and kicking, so let's now talk about what you have to do in order to kill your inner being.
Killing the Ego
Before we continue, I'd like to remind you that in the first part of this book, we are only trying to understand the problem, however, we are also forming the foundation for your spiritual and emotional healing. Without this foundation, it would be useless to seek a solution to your problem.
My mission is to make you see the root of your wound. Once you understand where your pain lies and what you have to do to prepare your heart, then you can continue with the steps I will teach you in the second part of this book.
For now, let's talk about what we are trying to accomplish here. First of all, you have to set yourself some goals because if you have no idea where you’re heading to, how in the world are you going to get there? I understand your life is not looking good right now, and that's okay. What I want you to do today is to stop thinking about your present.
Your present is not what you want, so you need to move on. I think we all agree about that, but I'm telling you this because I know that there are some people that tend to deceive themselves. Perhaps they don't do it intentionally, but in their subconscious mind, they neglect the problem and refuse to see the reality of the present.
So, this is what I want you to get inside your head: Even though your present is not looking good right now, you're heading in the right direction, and your life is going to change. I want you to picture yourself in the near future, living a life of freedom and emotional stability. Even if you don’t feel it in your heart, for now, I just want you to visualize yourself being able to love again.
The pass is no longer a problem for you because you have left everything behind. You feel free to love God and love yourself and everybody you come in contact with. You feel free to forgive those who did you wrong, no matter what they did to you. Now that you have found emotional and spiritual freedom you're able to live the life you always wanted to live.
This is the goal I want you to get inside your head, and this is what I want you to aim for, but don't worry. I know you’re not able to experience it right now, but you're not alone. I’m here to help you find the way because I've already been through that myself, and I know how it feels. But above all, remember that God loves you and that He will never leave you alone.
Now, let me tell you something very important: If you want to reach that goal, you're going to have to change your mindset. Right now you're wounded because you're not able to forgive, and that's a fact. And if you're not able to forgive, it's because your pride gets in the way, but once you get rid of that pride, your wound will heal. Isn’t that what you want?
So, with that in mind, let's first talk about the negative effects your egocentric heart can bring to you. It is crucial you understand this because if you don't, you'll go through life thinking you're doing everything right when in reality, you're doing everything wrong. Now, don't get offended; we all have to deal with our ego, so don't feel like I'm trying to single you out, but we have to talk about these things.
Let's see one of the most remarkable examples of an egocentric heart from our recent history: Adolf Hitler. We all know the story well. Hitler destroyed, not only his own life, but that of millions of people around the world. I have always been amazed by what happened between 1939 and 1945 throughout the world.
It is amazing to see what a human being can do to another human being. And, like I mentioned before, I have seen many awful things in my life, but what happened in Europe back in World War II is simply mind-boggling. Those of you who are believers understand what took place in the spirit realm. Hitler was deceived by Satan himself.
His mind was the vessel that the devil used to deceive millions of people, but all the evil that took place was rooted in one single place and time: Adolf Hitler's childhood. All the misery and human suffering that took place back in the early 40s, had its origin in the mind of Hitler when he was a child.
Nobody wakes up one day saying, "I'm going to blow up the world today!" Right? Something happened many years before World War 2 took place. It was in Hitler's immature mind that the devil sowed the seed of destruction. But the million dollar question is, how did he do that?
I don't think the devil simply showed up one day and told Hitler to murder millions of people. The hatred that Hitler felt inside didn't just come out of the blue, right? So then, something must have happened that triggered Hitler's evil instinct, and I'll tell you what it is right now. It even has a name: Alois Hitler.
He was Adolf Hitler's father, born in 1837 in the hamlet of Strones, parish of Döllersheim, in the Waldviertel, an area in northwest Lower Austria. According to some historians, he was a severe man. Adolf Hitler was mentally and physically abused by his own father.
Alois wanted his son, Adolf, to seek a career in the Civil Service, however, Adolf had become so alienated by his father that he was repulsed by whatever Alois wanted. Adolf sneered at the thought of a lifetime spent enforcing petty rules. Alois tried to browbeat his son into obedience while Adolf did his best to be opposite to whatever his father wanted.
Even one of Alios' closest friends admitted that he was awfully rough with his wife, Klara, and hardly ever spoke a word to her at home. If Alios was in a bad mood, he picked on the oldest children or Klara herself. And this infuriated young Adolf because he idolized his mother. Of course, Adolf always lost the argument to his abusive father.
Hitler's ego was fueled by his father's rejection, and this is what originated the hatred in his heart. Out of this abusive relationship, evil was born in Hitler's mind. It was like a chain reaction. His egocentric heart didn't allow him to forgive, and the unforgiveness kept his ego going. This is an evil cycle that has only one single purpose: To destroy you and the ones you love.
I don't need to talk much about this. You already know what happened back in the early 40s. Death and destruction were the results of an egocentric and unforgiving heart. Today, you're experiencing something similar. Obviously, not as intense, but it's killing you inside, isn't it? People who are wounded always choose the wrong path, but how about you?
Are you going to let your past destroy you? I don't think you are. If you're reading this book, and you made it this far, it’s because you are ready for a change of heart, aren't you? Well, if you are, let's take the first step so you can get rid of that egocentric heart, and I promise you that you will be able to forgive and move on with your life.
The problem is that sometimes we are hypnotized by the world around us. We are so caught up in our daily routine that we’re blinded and not able to see with a clear understanding. This is part of our human nature. We don't pay attention to the small details, and that gets us into a lot of trouble.
We are only conscious of the things we see, feel, smell and touch, but we're not aware of the negative feelings in our hearts. So now the question is, if we are not aware of these things, how can we get rid of them? It's impossible to get rid of something when you can't even see it, don't you think?
So, basically, the first step you need to take in order to get rid of your egocentric heart is to be aware of it. The Bible clearly says that "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked." (See Jeremiah 17:9). Sometimes we deceive ourselves because we're not paying attention to our heart.
My advice to you is that you start to pay closer attention to your feelings. Make sure that you understand what your heart is telling you. The heart doesn’t speak through words but through feelings, so the question is, what do you feel inside? If whatever it is that you feel inside makes you feel bad, then that means there is something wrong.
There is a spirit in the air, reminding you of your past, and that's not a good thing. If you're a Christian and understand about our spiritual fight, my advice to you is that you do some spiritual warfare. For that, I will recommend the following book: Spiritual Warfare Manual for Beginners. Even if you're not a Christian, you're welcome to read it.
There, you will find a lot of information about spiritual warfare, which is extremely important for our deliverance and freedom. If you don't understand much about these things, that's okay! We'll take it a step at a time. That’s why I'm here. My message is for everybody because I don't see people with a religious label.
My goal is to help you, regardless of who you are and what you believe. I don't prejudge people for who they are. If you want to follow me, I will welcome you with open arms. I have no religion; I have a personal relationship with my Creator.
Having said that, let's move on and continue talking about you because after all, that's all that matters today. To develop an awareness of what's in your heart, you'll need to start discovering yourself. This is something that not many of us do; perhaps because we don't have time, or we simply just don't care. And we don't care because we ignore the fact that the problem lies within ourselves.
Killing the ego inside of you requires self-examination, and in order to do that, you need to ask some specific questions. It’s by examining your heart that you will be able to see beyond your human understanding.
I'm going to provide you with a series of questions so you can get an idea of what’s going on in your heart, but I want you to be honest with yourself and make sure you answer with a clean conscience. Here are the questions for you:
· Do you get offended if things don't go your way?
· Do you always want to win an argument?
· Do you always want to be right?
· Do you feel the need to be superior?
· Do you feel the need to always have more?
· Do you usually brag about the things that you’ve accomplished?
· Do you have a strong desire to be recognized for what you do?
If you answered "Yes" to 3 or more of these questions, then you might be dealing with an ego problem, and that's not a good thing. This tells me a lot about you. You should really say "No" to all of those questions, but that's not as easy as it seems, is it? Anyway, for now, the important thing is that you understand what's going on in your heart so you can take action, but we'll talk about that in a minute.
The reason why you have all these negative feelings in your heart is that you have created a shield of protection around you. No one can blame you, though. You’ve been hurt, and you were treated badly, so you had to learn to protect yourself. This is normal. It's in our human nature to fight back, however, this doesn't mean it's good for you.
When it comes to building relationships, if you lift a shield of protection around you, you're going to have a hard time finding happiness in life, don't you think? God created you to love and be loved in this world. You might be pushing people away without you even knowing it. And if you're pushing people away, your wound is never going to heal.
Whoever did you wrong in the past is still holding you hostage, and now you can’t build normal relationships because you think you're going to get hurt again, isn't that the case? And if you cannot build normal relationships, how in the world are you going to find happiness? It's just impossible.
I understand that you were a victim of rejection and perhaps you were verbally or even physically abused. You have the right to protect yourself, but let me ask you a question: When do you draw the line? I mean, if you're going to go through life blocking people all the time so they stay away from you, don't you think that perhaps you're only hurting yourself more?
Could it be that you're being a bit egocentric? Maybe you don't see it that way right now, but remember what I told you a few minutes ago? Have you examined your heart thoroughly? I want you to think about this for a moment and meditate on what I'm saying. Your heart needs healing, and the only way you're going to find healing is by learning to love yourself.
But there's a big problem, and this is what I want to get at. The only way you're going to learn to love yourself is by loving others. Nothing else will work, believe me, but if you don't believe me, I want you to do a thought experiment right now. Picture yourself living on a remote island somewhere in the Pacific.
There is no one around you, and there never will. You will spend the rest of your life completely alone. Now, let me ask you the following question: Do you think that under these conditions, you will be able to love? Of course, you will never be able to love, and that leads us to a profound understanding: Love is not about you, it's about others.
I know this is hard to understand when there's been so much damage done to your heart. I know how it feels, but let me tell you something: The only way you're going to find healing is by expressing love. I’m sure you probably love those who are around you today.
It is easy to love the people that show you love, but, as we will see in a minute, there is no reward in that. I see it all the time, we show our love to those close to us, but deep inside, we are filled with anger and disappointment. And if we are filled with anger, it's because we simply cannot forgive.
Back in April 1999, I preached at a church in Atlanta, Georgia. By the end of the service, a girl who sang in the choir came to talk to me. Her mother was with her. I preached on forgiveness that night, so they were moved by the message. They invited me for dinner, so I accepted.
We drove to their house, and the girl who sang in the choir opened her heart to me. She began to cry, telling me that she couldn't forgive her ex-husband. He had left her for another woman, and to make matters worse, that woman was her best friend.
She was bitter inside, and I could sense it in her voice. I'm not going to get into details, but what her ex-husband did to her was extremely cruel. We spoke for about 2 or 3 hours and by the end of the night, she understood what forgiveness was all about. She needed to get rid of her past, and that night she began the road to recovery.
By letting go of her past, she found freedom for her soul and a great future ahead. She learned that she needed to show love, not only to the people that loved her, but also to the people who did so much harm to her heart. Some of you may not like what I'm saying, but there is a great mystery behind my words.
When you forgive those who hurt you one day, not only will you find freedom for your soul, but God will also reward you because you will prove to be a better person. I know this might be a challenge for you, but that's a good thing. You need to prove to yourself that you are at a higher level and that nothing and no one can hurt you anymore. Let’s take a look at the following scripture:
“Ye have heard that it hath been said, ‘Thou shalt love thy neighbor and hate thine enemy.’ But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that despitefully use you and persecute you, that ye may be the children of your Father who is in Heaven.
For He maketh His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them that love you, what reward have ye? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?
(Matthew 5:43-46)
(Matthew 5:43-46)
As we can see, there seems to be a promise for you. You are rewarded when you love and forgive those who hate you. Now, I want to clarify something. This doesn't mean you have to socialize with them. You can love and forgive somebody without having to be around them.
It is the disposition of your heart what God sees. You don't need to be friends with the people who hurt you one day, but you need to stop holding resentment against them. If you can, let them know that you have forgiven them because this will help you heal your wound, but if this is not possible, you don't have to do it, as long as you have forgiven them in your heart.
Let me put it to you this way, if you hold a grudge against them, you will be the loser, but if you forgive them, you will be the winner, and freedom will be your reward. If you don't forgive them, it means that your ego has won the fight, but let me ask you a question: Is this what you want?
If you continue full of resentment inside, there is absolutely nothing I can do for you, but guess what? There's absolutely nothing that anybody will be able to do for you either. If you don't pass this stage, you're not going to get too far. And let me tell you something: Absolutely nothing will happen unless you forgive. Take it or leave it... And I mean it!
I'm telling you things the way they are. Black is black and blue is blue, and there's no way around that. It is what it is, but if you're ready to let go and move on, then, I want you to do something right now. We're going to say a little prayer. If you're not a Christian, don't worry; you're going to pray today, so do me a favor, read the following prayer, but read it from your heart:
Heavenly Father, I come to you, Lord, and ask you for forgiveness today. I have sinned against you. Take my heart and renew my soul because I can’t continue like this. Give me a new heart, oh, Lord! Make me new again; that I could be a blessing to others. Help me forgive those who one day hurt me.
Give me freedom today and show me the road to recovery. Make me see what no eyes can see. Make me understand what no human mind can understand. I declare victory in the name of Jesus. I declare myself free from unforgiveness and resentment. Thank you, Lord Jesus. In your name, I pray, Amen!
That wasn't so bad, was it? Now that you have understood that forgiveness is the key to emotional healing, and that showing love is greater than holding resentment, you can move on. But this is just the beginning. There's a whole lot more you need to know.
People who are wounded inside develop many self-defense mechanisms. You might be applying some of them in your own life, but you don’t realize you’re doing it because your own ego doesn’t let you see these things, but we’re going to talk about that right now so don't go anywhere just yet.
Stop feeling offended
The next step you'll need to take in order to prepare your heart, is to overcome the obstacles in your way, and getting easily offended is one of them. When I worked in marketing, I studied human behavior, and I found that people that hold resentment in their hearts usually show a couple of symptoms.
People who are emotionally wounded get easily offended. You can't tell them anything without them striking back at you. In many cases, they don't say anything at all. They'll look at you, but deep inside, they want to kill you. This is why when they get married, they usually end up getting divorced.
Do you know anybody like that? Well, I do. I meet people like that all the time. I can tell right away when someone is resentful inside. Usually, they don't have many friends, and the few friends they have, have been with them since childhood, but it's extremely hard for them to make new friends, and this is because they simply don't trust anybody.
Perhaps you're not that way, but many of you who are reading this book can relate to what I'm saying. I don't know to what extent, but there's something there, and you know it. You know who you are, but let me tell you something: You need to stop! You've already understood the importance of forgiveness, so now you need to start making some major changes in your life.
Stop feeling offended by every little thing. This is not doing you any good, is it? So here's what I want you to do: Every time you feel that someone is offending you or putting you down, I want you to forgive them and pray for them. You will find that by doing this, you will feel a lot better. You will feel as if you have accomplished something, and you have!
You managed to keep your mouth shut, and that's a major win. And trust me with what I'm about to tell you: Before you know it, you will forget about it and put it behind you. On the contrary, if you get upset with someone, you will hold that grudge for a long time, and it's going to hurt you. You know what I mean.
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